How Understanding Motivation Can Transform Your Workplace Relationships
Get ready to decode your colleagues' language and tailor your communication for maximum impact.
That awkward pause in the hallway. The slightly stilted conversation by the water cooler. The feeling of being just a little bit off when trying to connect with a new colleague. If you've ever experienced these moments of social unease at work, you're far from alone. The professional landscape, while often collaborative, can also feel like a minefield of unspoken cues and potential misunderstandings. But what if there was a simple yet profound key to unlocking better communication and forging stronger connections with your colleagues?
Enter the world of motivation – specifically, the fundamental drivers that influence how people perceive and interact with the world. One incredibly insightful concept in this realm is the "Towards vs. Away From" motivation pattern. It's not about personality types or complex psychological profiles; it's about understanding whether someone is primarily driven by the desire to move towards something they want to gain or to move away from something they want to avoid. By tuning into this subtle yet powerful aspect of language, you can decode your colleagues' priorities, tailor your communication for greater impact, and ultimately build more meaningful workplace relationships.
The Power of "Towards" and "Away From"
At its core, the "Towards vs. Away From" pattern highlights the fundamental human drive towards pleasure and away from pain. People are motivated by what they want to achieve, acquire, and experience positively (the "towards"), or by what they want to prevent, avoid, and eliminate negatively (the "away from").
Think about it in simple terms. Someone motivated "towards" a promotion might talk about increased responsibility, new challenges, and a higher salary. Their language will often be peppered with words like achieve, gain, benefit, include, more, acquire, progress. On the other hand, a colleague motivated "away from" making mistakes might focus on the need for clear guidelines, avoiding potential pitfalls, and ensuring stability. Their vocabulary might include words like avoid, prevent, get rid of, not, without, escape, minimize, resolve.
It's crucial to understand that neither of these motivations is inherently "better" or "worse." They are simply different ways of navigating the world. While individuals often have a dominant tendency, their motivation can also shift depending on the context and the specific situation. The real power lies in recognizing these patterns in others – and in yourself – to foster clearer communication and stronger bonds.
Decoding Your Colleagues: Building Bridges Through Language
The beauty of the "Towards vs. Away From" pattern is that it often reveals itself in everyday language. By becoming a keen observer of how your colleagues communicate, you can start to decipher their underlying motivations:
During Project Discussions: Listen for whether colleagues emphasize the goals and benefits of a project ("This new feature will help us reach a wider audience and increase user engagement") or the problems they want to avoid ("We need to implement these changes to prevent security breaches and customer complaints").
When Discussing Career Goals: Notice if they talk about what they want to achieve in their career ("I'm aiming to lead a team within the next two years") or what they want to move away from ("I'm looking for a role with less repetitive tasks").
In Casual Conversations: Even informal chats can offer clues. Do they talk about what they are looking forward to ("I'm excited about trying that new restaurant this weekend") or what they are hoping to avoid ("I'm hoping the traffic won't be too bad on my commute")?
In Feedback: Pay attention to how feedback is framed. Does your colleague emphasize what you did well and how to build upon it, or do they focus on areas to improve to avoid future issues?
Once you start recognizing these linguistic cues, you can tailor your communication to resonate more effectively:
Connecting with "Towards" Colleagues: When interacting with someone who seems primarily "towards" motivated, emphasize the positive outcomes and benefits of your ideas or suggestions. Frame your contributions in terms of what can be gained, achieved, or created. Show enthusiasm for their goals and connect your proposals to their aspirations. For example, instead of saying, "This new process will stop us from making those errors," try, "This new process will streamline our workflow and allow us to achieve our targets more efficiently."
Connecting with "Away From" Colleagues: With colleagues who lean towards an "away from" motivation, highlight how your ideas can prevent problems, mitigate risks, and ensure stability. Address their potential concerns directly and emphasize the solutions you offer to avoid negative consequences. Instead of saying, "Let's try this new approach; it might work well," you could say, "This new approach will help us avoid the delays we experienced last quarter and ensure a smoother workflow."
The art of asking questions can also be incredibly revealing. Instead of a generic "What do you think?", try:
To potentially uncover a "Towards" motivation: "What are you hoping to achieve with this?" or "What would a successful outcome look like for you?"
To potentially uncover an "Away From" motivation: "What are your biggest concerns about this?" or "What are we trying to prevent from happening?"
By consciously adapting your language to align with your colleagues' primary motivational drivers, you create a sense of being understood and heard, fostering stronger rapport and facilitating more effective collaboration.
Understanding Yourself: The First Step to Connection
The journey to better workplace connections begins with self-awareness. For a long time, I considered myself an inherently positive person, always looking on the bright side. Yet, as I delved into the "Towards vs. Away From" concept and started to analyze my own language, a surprising truth emerged. Despite my positive intentions, my internal and external communication often leaned heavily towards "away from."
I noticed it in my problem-solving approach ("How can we avoid this issue in the future?"), my goal setting ("I need to stop procrastinating"), and even my casual conversations ("I hope the meeting isn't too long"). While I wasn't necessarily negative, my primary focus was often on preventing undesirable outcomes rather than actively pursuing positive ones.
This realization was a subtle but significant shift in my self-perception. I had unknowingly been framing many situations through a lens of potential problems to be avoided. Recognizing this pattern allowed me to consciously adjust my language. I started focusing on what I wanted to achieve, what benefits could arise, and what positive outcomes I was striving for.
The impact was noticeable. Internally, I felt more proactive and less reactive. Externally, my colleagues seemed to respond with more enthusiasm and engagement. Instead of always highlighting potential pitfalls (which, while sometimes necessary, can sound critical), I began to articulate the positive vision and the exciting possibilities. This subtle shift in my language influenced not only how others perceived me – perhaps as more optimistic and forward-thinking – but also how I approached my work and interactions.
Just as I did, take some time to reflect on your own language:
When you talk about your aspirations, do you focus on what you want to gain or what you want to avoid?
What motivates you more: the excitement of a potential reward or the fear of a negative consequence?
In team meetings, are you more likely to point out potential problems or highlight potential opportunities?
How do you typically frame your personal and professional goals?
Understanding your dominant motivational pattern provides valuable insights into your natural tendencies and potential blind spots. If you find yourself leaning heavily towards "away from," consciously trying to incorporate more "towards" language can shift your perspective and how you come across to others. Similarly, if you're predominantly "towards," being mindful of potential risks and framing some communication around avoiding negative outcomes can ensure you're addressing all bases.
Practical Strategies for Building Better Connections
Understanding motivation isn't just an intellectual exercise; it's a practical tool for building stronger workplace connections:
Listen Actively with a Motivational Lens: When your colleagues are speaking, actively try to identify their underlying "Towards" or "Away From" drivers. This will help you understand their priorities and what truly matters to them.
Empathy and Validation: When someone expresses a concern ("I'm worried about missing the deadline"), validate their "away from" motivation ("It's understandable to want to avoid the stress of a tight deadline. Let's discuss how we can ensure we stay on track"). Similarly, acknowledge "towards" motivations with enthusiasm ("That's a great goal to aim for! How can I support you in achieving it?").
Find Common Ground in Motivation: Look for shared "Towards" goals ("We all want this project to be a success") or shared "Away From" concerns ("None of us want to experience those technical issues again"). This shared understanding can be a powerful foundation for connection.
Be Mindful of Your Own Language: Continuously monitor your own word choices and strive for a balance that resonates with a wider range of communication styles. Consciously choose language that is both clear and motivating for your audience.
Conclusion
In the often-complex world of workplace dynamics, the simple yet profound understanding of the "Towards vs. Away From" motivation pattern can be a game-changer. By learning to decode the subtle cues in our colleagues' language and by gaining a deeper awareness of our own motivational drivers, we can move beyond superficial interactions and build more meaningful, productive, and ultimately more human connections. It's a journey of mindful communication and empathetic understanding – a journey that can transform those awkward hallway encounters into genuine opportunities for connection and collaboration.