How do you feel about cryptic crossword clues?
I find them difficult. The biggest problem is that I can’t tell which part of the clue is which.
Here is what I learned. Every cryptic clue does two jobs. One part is a plain definition of the answer. The other part is wordplay, which means a small puzzle with the letters.
In an anagram clue, one small word shows you what to do. It is called the signal word. Words like “mixed up”, “broken up” or “in a muddle” all mean the same thing: shuffle the letters. (A muddle is a confused mess.)
Here is an example. “Silent in a muddle? Pay attention.” The signal word is “in a muddle”. It tells you to shuffle the letters of SILENT. Do that, and you get LISTEN, which means “pay attention”.
Once I saw the signal word, the clue stopped looking like nonsense. It was a set of instructions.
Conversation has signal words too. “To be honest…” often comes before something difficult. “With respect…” often comes before a disagreement. “No offence, but…” usually means someone is about to say something that may offend you. “We need to talk” tells you to get ready.
In an earlier Influential Me episode, Episode 17, I talked about Shelle Rose Charvet’s book “Words That Change Minds”. Her idea is that the words people use show what drives them. Some people talk about goals and what they want to move towards. Others talk about problems and what they want to avoid. If you listen to the words, you can talk to people in a way they understand more easily. It is a popular communication framework, not magic, but it is a useful way to listen.
So how do you use this? Try three small steps.
1. Notice. When someone says “to be honest” or “with respect”, notice the small word. Don’t skip over it.
2. Pause. Wait for one second before you reply. This gives you time to think, instead of reacting.
3. Ask yourself. What is coming next? Good news, a disagreement, or a request? Then choose your reply.
There is an old phrase for this: “read between the lines”. It means to understand what someone really means, even if they don’t say it directly. Signal words are one of the easiest places to start.
This post is about everyday listening habits. It is not medical advice, and it makes no claim about your memory or your health.
Give this a try. Tell me how it feels.