"What Would Leo Do?"
The "Perfect Executive" is a Fictional Character, So Stop Exhausting Yourself by Trying to Play Their Role.
Okay, let’s get real about that feeling. You walk out of a big meeting, and the only thing you can think is: “Why just happened?”
It’s the classic I-Should-Have-Said-That moment. You had the smart, tactical point that could have changed the whole conversation, but in the moment, you just froze.
If you’re a professional who struggles with shyness or social anxiety, you spend all your energy on one impossible task: trying to be the “Hollywood Version” of a confident executive. You know, the one who’s always witty, always smooth, and never, ever misses a beat.
Here’s the truth: That person isn’t real. They are fictional characters, and trying to play their role is why you’re so exhausted.
The key to building real confidence isn’t about faking charisma; it’s about realising you’ve been stuck playing a bad, tiny character in your own story.
You need a better script…
Why Your Current “Character” Doesn’t Work
We all run on an internal script—it’s the story we tell ourselves about who we are. When you’re struggling with shyness, your unconscious script usually casts you in a defensive role:
The Silent One: The person who observes everything but only speaks when it’s too late or too perfect.
The Apologiser: The one who starts every sentence with “I’m sorry to interrupt...” or “This might be a stupid question...”
That defensive character drains your energy and actively undermines trust. When you look tentative or constantly minimise your own voice, colleagues don’t see a thoughtful person—they see someone who lacks conviction.
Trust is built on reliability. If people can’t rely on you to confidently back your own ideas, they can’t rely on your ideas at all. We have to break the old, safe script.
Borrowing a Better Strategy
This is where we introduce the “cognitive shortcut.” Instead of spending 15 minutes trying to psych yourself up for a conversation, you steal a move from a reliable source.
Think about the classic scenario from The West Wing. Whenever Chief of Staff C.J. Cregg was caught in a high-pressure disaster, she would stop and ask herself: “What would Leo do?”
She didn’t try to suddenly become Leo McGarry, who was a master strategist. She just borrowed his decision-making protocol.
Why This Works So Well for Anxiety:
It Interrupts the Freeze: The question immediately derails your panic (”I’m going to fail!”) and forces you into a strategic mindset: “How does a competent, reliable person handle this?”
It’s a Strategy, Not a Personality: You’re not aiming for Leo’s charisma; you’re just borrowing his specific actions—his calmness, his honesty, his directness. You’re choosing a reliable action over an anxious reaction.
When you start acting with that kind of intentional reliability, you become predictable in a good way. And nothing builds trust faster than predictable competence.
Your 3-Step Action Plan
Ready to stop performing and start acting with purpose? Use this simple, three-step framework:
Step 1: Find Your Professional Role Model
Pick one person (real or fictional—doesn’t matter) who embodies the single quality you need most in your trigger situations.
If you freeze during salary negotiations, choose the person who is impeccably direct.
If you panic under pressure, choose the person who is famously calm.
Step 2: Pinpoint the Freeze & Write the Rule
Identify the exact moment you usually shrink (your “Freeze Zone”), and write one simple, clear rule for how your Role Model would handle it.
If you freeze when: A meeting goes off-topic.
Your Role Model Rule is: “Lead with clarity, not hesitation.”
Action: Say, “Before we move on, I want to circle back to the Q3 numbers.”
Step 3: Action Over Analysis
The hardest part is hitting the button. You have to commit to executing the Role Model Rule without obsessing over the outcome. You are disrupting your old, defensive script to create a new, positive data point: “I spoke up, and the world didn’t end. In fact, I helped the team.”
The entire process of building trust is about choosing a reliable script over an anxious, tentative one. You are already smart enough. Now, it’s time to choose the best character and start proving it with action.